What I Learned Today (South Korean Version)

-According to the South Korean Ministry of Transportation, approximately 20% of all South Koreans are using some form of mass transportation at any given time.
-Usually, all 20 % are on the same subway car as me.
-I have the innate ability to clear a subway car with a cough or a sneeze. They look at me and flee in terror because it's common knowledge that all Americans have swine flu.
-The subway system can take you literally anywhere. Anywhere. They're planning a Jupiter and all points beyond route to be in operation by Spring 2011.

-If you like gambling, forget Vegas. Try a street vendor selling Something-on-a-Stick™
-That wasn't chicken.

-The Koreans are a very clean people and produce very little waste of any kind. Perhaps this is why I can never find a trash can or bathroom when I need one.

-Not many tourist attractions around here unless you're into palaces. Which pretty much all look the same and all tours are pretty much the same.
Tour Guide: Here's where King Unprounceable held court in the Dynasty of Tongue Twisting Names. His son, Prince Hard-to-Pronounce took over the throne in blah blah blah...Sacred and Royal Objects of the Nation on display here, blah blah blah, the King's most valued and prized posession, for a non royal family member to look upon it meant instant death penalty for over 400 years held in the highest sacred regard. We sell replicas in the gift shop, Visa and MasterCard accepted....we're walking, we're walking, we're walking, and ooh the Queen's Private Most Intimate Meditation Garden, where Her Royal Highness spent countless hours by herself to ponder delicate situations of state. Very hallowed ground. You can see it between the Stand of Cheap Tourist Crap and Starbucks.

-Just because it's an American chain, does not guarantee the staff inside speak English.
-Even if there is a sign that says they DO speak English, it does not guarantee they speak understandable English.
-Contrary to Korean popular belief, repeating a phrase in Korean slowly and loudly multiple times does not enable the listener to understand.
-Cash speaks all languages.

-I have never found a more hospitable, more inviting, more warm-hearted or generous person than the average Korean citizen who opened up their hearts and wallets to help out a clueless foreigner who couldn't even speak their language or understand their culture. God bless 'em.