Differences

So since coming back from this...

....to this

I've noticed a few things about my time in America. When you're gone for 14 months, you notice a few things and the culture that you grew up can give you culture shock like a completely foreign land. Some of the things that I knew once, but caught me by surprise this trip:

-By and large, Americans wear nothing. It was mid May, temperatures in the mid to high 70's mostly, a few forays into the 80's and people were out and about with clothes where the biggest piece of fabric was the "how to wash" tag. Which sadly brings me to my next point.

-Americans are fat. Not like "feel proud of who you are" fat, not "big boned" fat, not "a few extra donuts at work" fat but "more chins then a Hong Kong phone book" fat. Now, I'm not saying this is true for all people I saw, as my mom still weighs about the same as an anemic gopher, and a few close friends of mine have dropped some serious weight, but by and large (pun intended) Herman Melville could write a book about the average American. Which is probably because...

-Drinks are epic. When I was a kid, I had an inflatable pool that was smaller than a Medium at Burger King. I got a large value meal at McDonalds where the sweet tea came with a ladder and life preserver. And refills are free! Back in Beijing, you order a drink, and it comes in a shot glass and refills are buy one, get one same price. However, in America when you drink enough Mr. Pibb in a single seating to flood a small Romanian village and noticeably affect Pepsi's stock, them calories are gonna begin to add up. Speaking of adding up...

-Can anyone afford coffee anymore? Why do they call it a latte? Maybe because it costs a latte or because it takes a latte time to make. I don't know if it's the economy or a flood of graduates but apparently a Masters in Art History or a Bachelors in English qualifies you to do one thing these days: Get a nose ring and pour coffee for a living while talking with customers about things that are "ironic." Be it Starbucks, or an independent coffee shop, it's still the only place in the world that can charge you $4.50 for a coffee drink and then still ask you for tips with a straight face....

- Just like the guys at the MTV music awards, accepting awards for creating...nothing. Maybe I'm just getting old, maybe I've been away too much but modern pop music sounds like someone is listening to a computer modem try to connect while a police scanner goes off sporadically. As Autotune takes over, music just seems to get lazier.

(...and the Grammy goes to....Kanye for his hit single, "All Units Stand By (Stand by, stand by)")

Ah well, like the old West Point adage goes...my country right or wrong, but still my country. Just....what have you guys been doing since I've been gone?