2 guys, 30 cups

Geoff's friend Nikola came in from the US to visit him, so those two plus myself and Syrena, another facilitator went out to Pyro Pizza for the night. It came time to head back and someone came up with the idea to go get massages. Now I've had calf massages and they're pretty nice, so that coupled with the fact I didn't want to take a taxi back by myself, put me in agreement with the idea.
So off we went.
The sign said Chinese Massage and advertised a special of full body massage for 78RMB ($11) for an hour. What it should have said was "Beijing Masochists Ltd. Ask about our sadistic deals!"
All four of us were in the same room with our own little Chinese guy.

"Yay, I get to torture foreigners and get paid for it!"

This guy had a deep interest in seeing just how far elbows could go into a spine or if he could separate the muscle from the bone with just his deft little fingers. The whole time through he would say "fangsong" which means relax, in a very calm, emotionless tone, as if meditatively saying relax would make you forget that he's tearing muscles away from your back.
Towards the end, mine and Geoff's masseuses told us that our backs were much more tense then usual and would we be interested in cupping to release some toxins and realign the body? It's an ancient Chinese art, you know.

"Sure, why not."

You know how when you do something stupid on a computer, it warns you about it and you have to think about it before you go ahead and do it? Life should have something like that.
Cupping as we learned involved putting a glass cup on the skin and lighting a flame underneath to eat all the oxygen, thus creating a strong suction cup to the skin. This is how it looked like on Geoff.

All in all, it didn't feel that bad, kind of how you would expect 15 glass cups suctioned to your skin by fire to feel....Then they took them off. That kind of hurt. By kind of I mean, it really hurt.


A couple of days later, both Geoff and I have deep dark bruises along our back, much darker than the picture above. I don't feel any better, as a matter of fact, I still feel like a pinata at a birthday party where all the kids were on speed. But if I had any aches and pains before then, I've forgotten all about them now, so I suppose in that instance it worked. :)

"Yeah boss...I'm not going to be able to make it in today....or tomorrow"

China's massive traffic jam could last for weeks

BEIJING (AP) A massive traffic jam in north China that stretches for dozens of miles and hit its 10-day mark on Tuesday stems from road construction in Beijing that won't be finished until the middle of next month, an official said.

Bumper-to-bumper gridlock spanning for 60 miles (100 kilometers) with cars moving little more than a half-mile (one kilometer) a day at one point has improved since this weekend, said Zhang Minghai, director of Zhangjiakou city's Traffic Management Bureau general office.

But he said he wasn't sure when the situation along the Beijing-Zhangjiakou highway would return to normal.

The traffic jam started Aug. 14 on a stretch of the Beijing-Zhangjiakou highway. That section has frequently been congested, especially after large coalfields were discovered in Inner Mongolia, Zhang said. Traffic volume has increased 40 percent every year.

Drivers stranded in the gridlock in the Inner Mongolia region and Hebei province, headed toward Beijing, passed the time sleeping, walking around, or playing cards and chess. Local villagers were doing brisk business selling instant noodles, boxed lunches and snacks, weaving between the parked trucks on bicycles.

The highway construction in Beijing that is restricting inbound traffic flow and causing the jam "will not be finished until Sept. 17," he said.

Authorities were trying to speed up traffic by allowing more trucks to enter Beijing, especially at night, Zhang said. They also asked trucking companies to suspend operations and advised drivers to take alternate routes.

China's roadways are increasingly overburdened as the number of private vehicles booms along with commercial truck traffic hauling materials like coal and food to cities. Traffic slowdowns because of construction and accidents are common, though a 10-day traffic jam is unusual even in China.

Everyone Has a Bad Day...

From time to time, everyone has a bad day...













Today was one of mine.

If Modern Liberal Logic Existed in the 1940's

Smog? What Smog?

One of the biggest things people ask about life in China is "how can you deal with all the smog and pollution?" It's present, but no worse then any large American city and with the government actively addressing the problem, it's gone way down. (See what happens when you don't have annoying hippies getting in the way of progress?)
Here are five pictures that were taken today on my way to church in downtown Haidian district.

Back to (Military) School

One of the things I've always liked doing when I visit Tienanmen Square is to watch the soldiers and military police as they crisply glide across the cobblestones, each step in perfect unison, each movement timed meticulously with no wasted effort. I'm sure it takes years of military training to accomplish this but just how much I didn't know until the past few days.
Every high school student in China is required to spend a few weeks in a military camp before they graduate. Apparently our campus was selected to be one such camp, which makes sense because it has a large basketball court that is perfect for holding drills. They first came in Monday and I really couldn't believe it. Guys and girls. All different sizes, some beefy stocky guys next to girls who looked barely bigger than a teddy bear. All seemed to have the exact same size uniform of simple camouflage that seemed to be ill-fitting on the strong boys and downright ridiculous on the little girls. On some of the smaller girls, it looks cute, like something you would put on the front of a "cheer up" Hallmark card.
However, it looks like the Glorious People's Army doesn't spring for combat boots. Old tennis shoes, new black and white Nikes, and pink checkered Converses were part of the diverse parade of footwear that only served to make the camouflage (and its owner) look even more silly. They've been here now for three days and we don't really see much of them except for the morning when they're on the basketball court attempting to successfully master the ancient arts of 'left turn' and 'right turn' with (presumably real) soldiers who look just barely older than your average college graduate instructing them. Looking at them, it quickly becomes clear that the average Boy Scout has more military bearing then this group. Some have their uniform sleeves rolled up, others rolled down. Some are wearing their covers, others are holding them in their hands, still more litter the ground near the entrance of the court. Just walking by and observing them I noticed one girl sneaking out a quick text message on a cell phone she was trying to conceal in her sleeve (you have to be a teacher for a while to notice these things ;)
Everyone on campus -minus the Americans- seem to think this group is the greatest thing since sliced bread and come running to watch, every time they chant a cadence or the instructor barks out an order (although it has to be embarrassing to do drill counts and your voice cracks.)
Yesterday I almost ran over a girl in her "Winnie the Pooh goes back to military school" collection on my bike as she was sitting on the sidewalk with her friends, their camo jackets providing a seat.
The students have been seeing all this and one asked me at dinner last night, if we do anything like this in America and just being in a generally mischievous mood, the conversation went something like this..
Me: No, in America the military is only for volunteers. People who want to join, and they have to take many tests before entrance. Physical and mental tests to see if they can join.
Students: Why? Why not let everybody join?
Me: In America, we only make soldiers out of the people who want to fight and kill. People who have got the reach and the teeth of a killing machine with a need to see someone bleed when the light goes green. People who want to be the first to go and then the last to leave. People who bask in the glow of a rising war, and want to lay waste to an enemy shore.
Students: oh...
Me (to myself): Well that will keep us out of a war for another couple years...

The New Year Longs

...officially scare me. I can't get into it much on here, but it's going to be an interesting (to say the least) year.